


Seven Years

by heirofegbutt



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Volleyball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-05-30 16:38:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6432190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heirofegbutt/pseuds/heirofegbutt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When he was only seven years old, Tobio's mother told him to go out and find some friends because she doesn't want him being alone at an early age. But volleyball was his main priority and he never bothered to try and make friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

When he was seven years old, Kageyama Tobio’s mother had told him to put down the volleyball and go find some friends.

“Volleyball won't always be the main priority in your life, Tobio. Go out and make some friends. I've met a lot of nice people who live around here and have children your age.”

Making friends didn't seem like a big deal to him. After all, he did have volleyball. Being only seven meant a carefree life, experimenting with the weight of the volleyball in his hand and wishing he would grow taller to serve it over the net that was in his backyard. Being seven years old meant he didn't really have to worry much about friends, because he never wanted any in the first place. He was fine how he was right now.

His mom loved him and took care of him, his dad sending letters and postcards from time to time from where he was since his work had him all over the place, and his older brother playing volleyball with him in his spare time. Life was great as it was, so why did he have to go make friends?

He had asked his mom that very question one day after he came home from school. His mother gave her son a look and sat down beside him on the couch, drawing him into her side.

“I want you to go find and make some friends because I don't want you to be lonely, Tobio. Your brother and father are hardly home anymore, and I can't spare any time from my job. Being and feeling lonely is the worst thing imaginable.”

Tobio looked up at his mom, his eyes shining with unshed tears. Being lonely sounded scary, and he didn't want to upset his mom. She smiled down at him and lifted a finger to wipe away a tear that escaped Tobio’s eye.

“Please promise me, Tobio. Promise me that you'll try to make some friends. Even if volleyball is included.”

Tobio nodded his head and gave his mom a huge smile. He wiped his eyes with the backs of his hands and hopped off the couch, nodding his head again.

“Anything for mommy! I'll come back before dinner!” He called behind him as he dashed out the door, the heavy feeling of disappointment weighing down on his shoulders.

 

* * *

 

It wasn't long until he gave up. Tobio had wandered around their housing area for over an hour and he never saw anyone his age once. It made him upset and so he began his trek home, shoving his hands into his pockets.

A voice behind him made him finally glance up from his shoes and blink. Tobio stopped walking and turned around, raising his eyebrows as he caught sight of someone on the other side of the street, singing out lyrics to a song he didn't know. But that wasn't what caused him to stare longer than he probably should have.

It was his hair.

His hair was an outrageously bright shade of orange, and the smile he was wearing was the epitome of happiness. Tobio watched him walk down the side of the street, bouncing a ball and skipping. He wanted to shout at the other, but his voice caught in his throat.

This was the only chance he had, and he has to take it. To make his mother proud.

“H-hel-- hi!” Tobio blurted out, his face burning a vibrant shade of red. He clenched his hands into fists by his sides and swallowed, watching the other boy slow to a stop.

The other turned to face him, gripping the ball in his hand, and tilted his head to the side. He blinked.

“Hello!” He grinned, waving.

Maybe if he ran away right now, Tobio wouldn't have to bury himself in his own grave where he was standing. This was embarrassing and he shouldn't have called out to the boy and he should've just stayed inside playing volleyball and helping mom make dinner and-

“Do you want to play wall-ball?” The boy shouted from across the way, still having that smile plastered to his face. He raised the ball that he was holding up to show it to Tobio.

“Um. Uh. Su- Sure, yeah!” Tobio shouted back, feeling his own smile creep into his face. He brought a hand up to his mouth to hide it and ran across the street, but not before looking both ways because his mother taught him to do that.

He stood beside the smaller boy - how was he smaller than him was that even possible - and played with the hem of his shirt.

“What exactly is wall-ball?” He asked tentatively. “I'm Kageyama Tobio.”

“Oh! Follow me and I'll show you! I'm Shouyou, by the way. Hinata Shouyou!” There was that smile again, and before he knew it, Tobio was getting dragged down the opposite way of his house towards the huge park that was in the middle of the housing area, all concerns forgotten.

 

* * *

 

The sun was beginning to set by the time Tobio and Shouyou emerged from the park, dripping in sweat. They were laughing and speaking as if they hadn't just met over an hour and a half ago. Tobio breathed out slowly and looked at the smaller boy as they walked. There were crinkles around his eyes from the way his face scrunched up when he laughed and Tobio thought that was really cute.

“Today was really fun. Thank you for playing with me.” Tobio said genuinely, biting his bottom lip to keep the smile he felt on his lips from growing larger.

“Oh, oh no it's fine! I was looking for someone to play with anyway,” Shouyou grinned, nudging Tobio in the side with his elbow. “You're really good at wall-ball. You're going to have to challenge my sister for the title.”

Tobio laughed outright at that, so much that he snorted. That caused Shouyou to laugh too and soon enough they were both giggling hysterically in front of Tobio’s house. Tobio calmed down from his laughing high and wiped the corners of his eyes, smiling.

“We should do this again. I, um, don't really have any friends and my mom wants me to do other things besides volleyball.” He admitted bashfully, blushing. Shouyou gasped.

“You know how to play volleyball??”

“I do?”

“You do!”

“I do.”

“That's so cool!! My mom bought me a volleyball for my sixth birthday last year and I never got the chance to actually play with it. Tomorrow, let's play volleyball!” Shouyou shouted excitedly, hopping up and down.

“Yeah, okay, that sounds really fun,” Tobio nodded. “I have to go now, though. It's almost dinner time, and my mom gets upset when I'm late.”

“Okay, see you tomorrow, Tobio! Oh, also! You're my first friend too. I'm new to this neighborhood.” Shouyou smiled back at Tobio and waved at him before making his way up the street towards his house. Turns out, he didn't live that far, and probably went to the same school as him too.

He waved back and headed inside, feeling like he was on cloud nine. His mother also noticed and raised an eyebrow, giving him an all-too-knowing grin.

“Did you make a friend, Tobio?” She asked, setting the table.

“I did! His name is Shouyou and he taught me how to play wall-ball and he wants to play volleyball tomorrow-” He rattled on and on about everything he and Shouyou did in that short hour and a half they had spent together.

Tobio's mother looked extremely pleased as they ate, listening to her son. He spoke all through dinner and she cleaned up after they were done, lifting him up to take him to bed.

“You're getting too big for this, kid.” She chuckled, laying him down in bed and tucking him in after he changed and brushed his teeth. “But you know what? Shouyou sounds like an amazing friend and I'd love to meet him tomorrow.”

Tobio's eyes widened and he grinned broadly, nodding his head fast.

“Yes, of course!”

They said their goodnights and the room was cast in darkness when the door closed. Tobio closed his eyes and smiled one last time that night before slipping off into a deep slumber.

He made a friend.  
And he intended on doing his best to keep this friend for as long as he can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First Haikyuu fanfic, and it's a Kagehina one. This will probably be 5 or so chapters long, I'm not sure as of yet. Hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Also wall-ball is a game I used to play in elementary school. It was highly addicting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art and drugs and fights, oh my.

Tobio’s mother was an art major, having gone back to college when Tobio was old enough to take care of himself on his own. He liked that about her, that she was able to go back and achieve her dream of going to college without having to rely on anyone and he wanted to be like that.

Strong. Passionate. 

He thought he could understand what those simple words meant. He is strong, he tells himself each day before he gets ready for school. The kids in his classroom just don’t see it.

He is passionate, he tells himself every day when he’s playing volleyball in his backyard by himself. He just doesn’t know how to show it.

Little things like this help bring him down and lowers his self confidence day by day, and the only ones who are able to bring it right back up again are his mother.

And Shouyou.

He doesn’t speak much of Shouyou, mainly because he doesn’t have to in order for others to see that he deeply cares about the smaller boy. Shouyou stuck with him for the past four years and helped him through the bullying he was submitted to on a daily basis. He kept lifting Tobio’s spirits by playing volleyball with him when they were done with school (they went to separate schools) and by telling him that,

“One day, those bullies are gonna get proven wrong by you!” Shouyou smiled, spiking the ball when Tobio tossed it to him. “They’re gonna see how strong willed you are and how amazing a friend you are and they’re gonna think back like, ‘Woah! I sure was stupid to think that we should bully that Tobio kid over there-’ OW!”  Shouyou fell to the grass and rubbed his head where the ball made impact with it. He pouted at Tobio, who was red in the face.

“It’s-- It’s fine, please stop. I don’t want to talk about this- the bullies, um, yeah.” Tobio worried his bottom lip and crossed his arms, swinging his gaze to the grass and away from Shouyou. “The ball is over there.”

The bullying went on and Tobio never bothered to tell anyone about it. Only Shouyou knew, and that took a toll on him also. He never liked people worrying about him and with Shouyou constantly asking if anything happened or if he was hurt, he was close to snapping. And he did. He instantly regretted it after when all he remembered was Shouyou running away from him and looked like he was crying. 

That was the first fight they had.

Tobio still regrets yelling at Shouyou because he can never get the terrified look out of his mind.

* * *

 

“What is it, Tobio? I’m kind of busy right now.”

“Momma, show me some of your art please!!”

Tobio’s mother set down her pencil and held back a sigh. Ever since her son had that fight with Shouyou, he’s been coming up to her and asking to see her drawings or if he could have some paper and pencil so he could draw. Tobio never told her about the fight, but she knew and she didn’t want to upset him more by telling him that she knew so she kept it to herself.

“Of course, sweetie. Here, have some paper too. There’s a pencil on the desk in the living room if you need it.”

“Thank you! I’ll draw you something real pretty.” Tobio beamed up at her and walked out of the room, clutching the paper and folder of his mother’s drawings to his chest. He sat down in the middle of the floor in the living room and spread out everything to his liking. His eyes traced over the drawings his mother drew and they were so pretty and intricate and he wanted to be like her, to be able to draw as good as she does. He was always a momma’s boy and if he could do this one thing right, then he’d be complete.

A few hours went by, his mother coming and going from the living room but not stopping to look what Tobio was drawing. She answered the door and let in Shouyou who came to visit and he skipped his way over to Tobio, his smile bright as ever.

“Tobio! What are you doing? I thought you were gonna play volleyball today?” Shouyou asked, dropping down in front of Tobio and looked at his drawings curiously. 

“Not today. You want to draw with me? I’m drawing volleyballs.” Tobio smiled shyly, lifting up his paper to show Shouyou. He gawked at it, his eyes shining bright.

“Tobio, that’s amazing! How do you draw so good?? Teach me!” He whined, smacking the volleyball that was in his lap.

“Oh, well, it’s not all that good. I’m just looking at my mom’s art to see how she does it. She’s really, really good! She draws flowers and scenery and sometimes people and I think she said she drew me a couple times too.” Tobio looked proud as ever, sitting up on his legs. He pushed some of his mother’s drawings over to Shouyou for him to see and the latter practically lit up with fascination and adoration. 

“These are so pretty! Wah, I wish I could draw this good.” Shouyou whined, carefully looking through each drawing.

“Draw with me today, and see how it goes!” Tobio suggested, passing him some paper and an extra pencil he had. “We can share my eraser. I only have one.”

And that’s what they did for the rest of the evening, the living room floor covered with papers scattered everywhere, designs on them of volleyballs and Tobio and Shouyou and trees and flowers and all sorts of stuff. Tobio’s mother came out when it was around seven o’clock and smiled at the mess they both made.

“Looks like you both had some fun in here.” She laughed.

“We drew so much, mom! Thank you for letting me see your drawings.” Tobio smiled, and Shouyou shouted, “Yes, thank you!!” at the same time.

“It’s getting a bit late, start packing up. I’ll walk Shouyou home since it’s not that far.”

Both boys complied and soon the living room was spotless and Shouyou was waving goodbye to Tobio. “See you later!” He called, grinning broadly.

Tobio put himself to bed that night, having grown out of his mom tucking him in each night. He sighed and rolled over, a heavy feeling resting in his chest. He closed his eyes and drifted off into sleep.

* * *

 

Tobio made a few other friends when he went into fifth grade. Well, he wouldn’t exactly call them friends because they were far from what Shouyou actually was, but he hung out with them nonetheless. They were interesting and had a lot of stuff to show off and picked fights with kids in lower grades. Tobio didn’t understand what made them so appealing to hang around with, but forgot all about his worries whenever he went out and watched them bully other kids.

It was refreshing, to say the least, to finally be on the other end of the stick instead of the receiving end. Getting bullied for four years straight took a toll on him and he was able to lash out his aggression that had built up. The others encouraged him on and rooted for him and he felt great afterwards. Whenever they finished up picking on smaller kids or actually fighting with them, they all would go out and eat and laugh about what they just did.

It was in the middle of fifth grade when Tobio finally joined in on smoking with them and getting his first taste of beer.

“What’s with that face, Kageyama?” Oikawa laughed at him, pushing some stray hairs from his face. “You never tried bourbon before?”

“I haven’t actually. Where’d you get this from? Aren’t they expensive?” Tobio asked, taking the cigarette from Oikawa’s mouth and taking a drag from it.

“It’s my dad's, but he’s always gone with my mom and is never home so I just took it from his stash.” Kuroo shrugged. He leaned back on the bench they were sitting on in the far corner of the park, unseen to anyone unless they walked back there. He grabbed the bottle back from Tobio but Terushima snatched it away.

“Yeah, me ‘n Kuroo always take stuff from his dad’s cabinet. He never notices anything is gone too.” Terushima smirked, setting the bottle down in the middle of the table. “Mm. I also have some stuff my friend gave me a while back.” He pulled a small bag out of his pocket and held it up, wiggling it in his hand.

“No way, dude!” Kuroo gasped.

“Give me some!” Oikawa almost shoved himself over the table to grab at it but Terushima just pulled it back to his chest. He looked over at Tobio and wondered why he didn’t freak as much as the other too and then he realized why. Sometimes he felt bad for Tobio for being a bit more innocent than they were.

“Kageyama, this is weed. You know what weed is, and what to do with it, right?” Tobio nodded fast, not wanting to look completely stupid in front of his peers. Kuroo smacked Tobio on the back and smiled at him.

“Light it up.”

* * *

 

Tobio wasn’t himself when he was high, and he actually rather liked it. He was pulled away from the negative thoughts bouncing around his head and instead, he’s experiencing a world like never before. He was glad he brought his backpack with him and he pulled out his sketchbook and pencil, quickly scribbling all over it.

Kuroo and Terushima looked at Tobio in awe as they watched how quickly he was drawing and how fast he was finishing each one.

“Woah.”

“Yeah.”

“That’s so cool, how he can just, like, draw whatever and not care.”

“Hey, Kags, draw me next!” Oikawa sang, laying across the table with his head in his arms, eyes closed. He finished off the bottle of liquor while everyone else got their high and they were all content.

“Mm.” Was Tobio’s answer, not lifting his head to acknowledge Oikawa. Oikawa huffed indignantly and buried his face in his arms again. Kuroo leaned over Oikawa’s legs to look at what Tobio was drawing and he harshly nudged Terushima and Oikawa. They both looked over at Tobio and was amazed by what they saw. Tobio was drawing someone, someone they obviously they didn’t know but Tobio did, and it was  _ beautiful.  _ The lines were smooth, the still movement of the clothes, and the soft flow of Tobio’s hand when he flicked it over the paper to create those beautiful lines.

“Dude, what the fuck.” Oikawa frowned, slamming his fist against the table. “Why are you so good at drawing? You never told us!”

“Who are you drawing anyways? It doesn’t look like anyone we know.” Kuroo finally said after a long silence. At that, Tobio finally glanced up from his drawing and blinked at the other three that were crowded around him. He tilted his head to the side, furrowing his brow. 

“Oh. Well, um. This is my friend. He doesn’t go to our school, but we hang out almost everyday.” Tobio tucked a stray hair behind his ear and pulled his sketchbook to his chest. “Why do you want to know?”

“Because it looks like you really like this dude if you’re drawing him.” Terushima scoffed, tapping his cigarette against the side of the table, smoking billowing out of his mouth.

“I-I what? No, we’re just friends.” Tobio mumbled, drawing his eyes back down to the book.

“Tell me that when you finally realize it, buddy.” Kuroo laughed, smacking Tobio on the back. He leaned back in his seat and yawned, stretching his arms above his head. “We should head back. I’m tired and I’m fucking hungry. Let’s get some pizza and chill at my place.” The chorus of ‘yeah’s’ and ‘okays’ followed when everyone but Tobio got up from the bench.

“Are you coming, Kageyama?” Oikawa huffed. He crossed his arms and leaned against Kuroo, who was also leaning on Terushima.

“I don’t think so. Not today anyway. But today was fun so we should do it again sometime.” Tobio cracked a smirk, shoving his book into his bag. Kuroo nodded and they waved goodbye, leaving Tobio alone at the bench to stir in his thoughts. Everything came crashing down about what he just did and he groaned, slapping a hand to his face.

“Fuck…” He sighed, pushing off from the bench and started to make his way home, the evening sky slowly turning a blue and purple gradient. It took him almost half an hour to even get to his housing area mainly because of how high and slightly tipsy he was. Regret was a thing he would come to feel in the morning, but right now he was living life. He liked this. He turned down the street that led up to his house and a sudden flash of bright orange crossed his vision. He swallowed and tried to hurry his pace, moving to a fast walk but that wasn’t enough to escape the sudden assault of questions from a certain someone.

“Tobio! Where were you today? I went to your house to see if you were home but your mom said you left before she even came home! What the heck? We were supposed to hang out today!” Shouyou shouted, crossing his arms in front of his chest. Tobio wet his lips and shoved his hands into his pockets and grunted. He didn’t really want to deal with Shouyou’s bullshit today.

“I was out with some friends,” He hesitated when he said ‘friends’, and he frowned more. “Why is it any of your concern?”   
  
“Because you promised we would hang out today, Tobio! You can’t just drop this last minute and not tell me! What the heck?” Shouyou cried, flinging his hands up.

“We don’t always have to hang out  _ every single day, _ Shouyou! I can make plans and do other things besides going out with you. I’m not obligated to have my time each day dedicated to you.” Tobio narrowed his eyes at the smaller boy. Why was he getting so upset for, and for that matter, why was Shouyou getting mad at him for not hanging out with him? His brain was all a jumbled mess and he put a hand up to cover half his face. He groaned.

“B-But that’s what we do! That’s what we  _ have  _ been doing for the past four years!” Shouyou finally lowered his voice and it gave off a sad tone. Shit, he upset him. Guess he might as well finish it off with one final blow.

“Yeah, but I have other friends now. I can spend time with them too, not just with you. Get that through your head, Shouyou. Don’t you have other friends too?” Tobio tried to maneuver his way around Shouyou but he wasn’t having it. He stayed in front of Tobio and shoved him back whenever he tried to push past him.

“Yes I do. But none are available as much as you!”

“So what?” Tobio grunted, rolling his eyes.

“Tobio, dammit, what th-” Shouyou paused mid-sentence and sniffed the air suddenly. A gust of wind enveloped them and he scrunched up his face in disgust. “What’s that smell?”

“What smell?” 

“I don’t really know, but it smells gross. Wait,” Shouyou frowned and stepped closer to Tobio, taking a big whiff of the front of his shirt. “Ha-- Have you been doing… drugs?” He whispered. 

“I don’t understand.”

“You smell like something my mom told me way before that was bad for you and that I shouldn’t do it. I don’t know what it is but she told me it was a distinctive smell,” Shouyou gazed up at Tobio with shining brown eyes and his bottom lip quivered. “Have you?”

“Yeah, so what? It’s not like anyone can stop me. I’m free to do whatever I want, so back off.” 

“Y-You’re not supposed to, Tobio! It’s bad for you! What if your mom finds out or or or the police or  _ someone?? _   You’re not even old enough to do drugs!” Shouyou was crying now. Why was he crying?

“It’s not a big deal, and you shouldn’t worry about it. Stop trying to tell me what I can and cannot do.” Tobio finally gave up and shouted at the smaller boy, shoving him roughly out of the way. Shouyou choked out a gasp and tumbled to the ground, landing hard on his backside. He sat up quickly and stared after Tobio, swallowing the thick frog that was lodged in his throat. He stood up and ran after Tobio and grabbed the back of his shirt, yanking him back, making the taller boy stumble to catch his balance. 

“Please, Tobio, please don't do this! I don’t want you to get hurt and I know drugs are bad for you and your body and you shouldn’t even be doing them this young. You’re only eleven!” Shouyou sobbed, clutching Tobio’s shirt tightly in his fists, not breaking eye contact with him. Tobio grimaced and looked away, not wanting to see the hurt shining bright as day in Shouyou’s eyes.

“Shouyou, I like it. Weren’t you the one who told me all that time ago that if I loved something, that I should go after it? My mom told me the exact same thing. I like what I did today, it helped calm me down more than I was ever able to do before. Please understand this.” He whispered, his hands shaking when he balled them into fists. 

“You’re just going to hurt yourself in the long run, Tobio. I’m not going to give up on trying to make you stop. I don't want anything to happen to you.” Shouyou slapped Tobio hard on his bicep and pushed him away, running down the street towards his house. Tobio watched him go and he hung his head low on the way back to his house. His mother wasn’t home thankfully since she went back out to work overtime and he went up to his bedroom. He shut the door and flopped onto his bed, groaning loudly into his pillow. He was so stupid. So, so utterly stupid.

He flipped onto his side and rummaged through his bag that he threw beside his bed and pulled out his sketchbook, flipping it open to the page he drew Shouyou on. He let another sigh escape his mouth and traced over the lines of the drawing, his high finally coming down enough for him to understand what had just happened and what he did that day. 

“Fuck.” He mumbled, curling up on his bed with the sketchbook still held tightly to his chest. “I’m so fucking stupid.”

* * *

  
It takes Shouyou four more years to persuade Tobio to not do drugs anymore. Four, excruciatingly long years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually had to look up a Sativa high because I don't do drugs and I don't know anything about them.
> 
> Also 8 pages, that's probably the longest I've ever written a chapter. Way to go @ me


	3. Chapter 3

Getting onto his high school volleyball team was just as stressful as doing any midterm or exam at the end of the semester. Tobio went to the gym where they were holding club applications first thing in the morning when he arrived on his first day of school. He hiked his bag up on his shoulders more and gripped the paper tight in his hand, nervous energy radiating off of him. He saw other kids come and go from the gym when he entered and the gym was _huge._

Well, not huge huge, but bigger than his junior high school gym. Tobio went to the far back of the gym where he was told that the volleyball club applications were being accepted and handed in his application, releasing the breath he had been holding since he entered the gym. He turned around and was about to leave when something caught his eye and he stepped towards that booth, squinting his eyes so he could read the lettering.

_Art Club._

Oh. Tobio bit his lip in thought. Maybe he should? He could try to fit both art and volleyball into his already busy schedule with classes and chores at home. He shrugged and grabbed an application, quickly scribbling down his info and whatnot. What’s the worse that could happen?

“Kageyama, yo!” Someone shouted at him while he was still writing on the paper. Tobio finished and handed it in, turning around to face the one who called to him and sighed. Of course.

“What do you want, Kuroo?” Tobio tugged on the straps of his backpack and headed out of the gym and into the cool outside air. Kuroo followed after Tobio like a lost puppy and blew some hair out of his face. “You know, if you actually cut your hair once in awhile, you’d be able to see better.”

“Shut the fuck up. Anyway, Oikawa told me to tell you to meet up with him and Terushima after school so we can go drinking at his place. You up?” Kuroo raised an eyebrow at Tobio and sat down across from him at one of the lunch tables in the quad.

“Sure. I have nothing else to do.” Well, if he wasn’t called in later that day to get told that he was or wasn’t accepted into either club he wanted to be in. Tobio pulled out his sketchbook, a new one his mother gave him on his birthday last year, and started doodling in it. Kuroo watched in fascination.

“You applied for the art club too right? After you sent in your volleyball club application?” Kuroo asked, and when he received a nod from the other, he continued. “How are you going to balance both of them? Volleyball takes up most of your concentration and you can’t afford to skip out on practice for art.”

Tobio exhaled slowly. He knew Kuroo was right; he always was. He shook his head at his thoughts and rubbed his eye with the palm of his hand. “I’m going to try. I want to do both.” He left it at that, grabbing his bag when he heard the bell ring for classes that are starting soon. “I’ll see you after school.”

Tobio survived classes even though he just wanted to skip and go hang out with Shouyou. He hasn’t hung out with him properly since he first became friends with Oikawa and the others, and he could clearly see the hurt that shone through each time he spoke with Shouyou. It hurt Tobio too, but he didn’t care to change it. That was his second mistake.

He sat in his last class for the day, staring out the window. He contemplated messaging Shouyou to see if he wanted to meet up later after he was done with drinking, but soon thought against it. The last time he met with Shouyou after he drank, Shouyou blew up on him and became a crying mess that Tobio never wanted to witness again. He scratched at his arm and tapped his foot against the floor, eyes moving to the clock that was on the wall above the door. 20 minutes. He grabbed his phone from his pocket and pulled up Shouyou’s contact, typing out,

“ _Hey.”_

A simple greeting shouldn’t hurt, right? Tobio hoped it wouldn’t. Those twenty minutes flew by faster than he thought they would and soon enough he was waiting around outside the school building for Kuroo. Shouyou never messaged back, a heavy feeling erupting in Tobio’s gut. That soon went away when he heard Kuroo call out to him from inside a car that was parked beside the curb. He could see that Oikawa was driving, why did they let him drive?, and Terushima in the back seat waving at him. Tobio grinned and walked to the car and got inside, fist bumping Terushima and smacked Oikawa on the back of the head.

“Why did you let him drive? You know how he gets.” Tobio groaned, slapping a hand to his face. Kuroo belted out a huge laugh that got him punched in the arm by Oikawa.

“He wouldn’t shut up until I let him. It can’t be that bad.” Terushima chuckled, buckling himself in.

“You clearly haven’t rode with him before.” Kuroo wheezed out, wiping the corners of his eyes while Oikawa started the car.

Terushima was wrong. So wrong.

By the time they got to Oikawa’s house, Terushima was holding his stomach as he stumbled out of the car, spluttering, “What the fuck!?”

Tobio and Kuroo, who were far used to Oikawa’s reckless driving, laughed once more and patted Terushima on the back. “We warned you. Next time, don’t succumb to Oikawa’s ruthless tricks.” Oikawa scoffed and waved a hand at them, winking, knowing it was true. He unlocked the door and pushed it open, heading straight for the kitchen to get the beer and liquor. Tobio collapsed on the couch, shoving his head into a pillow. He grunted when Kuroo sat down on him and Terushima took the single recliner beside the couch. He felt his phone vibrate in his pocket but was currently getting squashed by a certain asshole who wouldn’t get off him so he chose to answer it when he could breathe again.

Oikawa came back out with a few beers cradled in his arms, cigarettes, and some really strong liquor; the ones Kuroo and Terushima loved the most. They told Tobio once, that “If the liquor is strong enough to knock you out of whatever negative shit you’re thinking of, then always drink that. It helps.” So Tobio soon caved and enjoyed the strong liquor just as much as the other two. Oikawa always went for beer and cigarettes since he claimed that “If I drink that heavy stuff, I’ll do stupid shit and the last time I did, you guys wouldn’t tell me what the fuck I did to that one guy that lives below me. So no. Shove it up your ass.”

It was a while later, when the sun was setting low in the sky and Tobio felt amazingly better than he did the whole day, that he finally pulled out his phone to see who had messaged him. He blinked his eyes open, the words and sentences blurry as he tried to focus and he squinted his eyes, catching a heavily blurred “Shouyou” and he rubbed his eyes. Oh, fuck, he answered back. He sat up and looked around at the mess they caused. Beer bottled everywhere, stains masking the couch he laid under, cigarette butts on the floor and the table. Terushima and Kuroo were passed out, sprawled across each other on the floor and Oikawa was curled up in the recliner, drooling. Tobio groaned softly when he sat up, his head spinning, and brought his phone up to his face to read the message again. Shouyou responded at 4 p.m., and it was now 7. His message read,

“ _Tobio! Hi, it’s been awhile. Sorry I haven't been able to talk to you, things have been hectic around my house. I need to tell you something important in person so let me know if you’re free on Wednesday! :)”_

Important? What could be so important that he couldn’t just tell him over the phone? Tobio shrugged and sat up more, stretching out his arms before him. He should head home soon since he still needed to eat and shower, plus his mom is probably mad that he’s late again. He smacked Oikawa on the arm, making him jolt awake, and told him he was leaving. All he got was a flip of Oikawa’s middle finger and he left, taking a bottle of water with him so he wouldn’t be as gross as he felt right now.

Tobio arrived home feeling better than when he left and he was glad because he didn’t want his mom to worry over him again. He hung up his jacket and took off his shoes, making his way into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. “Hey, mom. I’m home.”

“Oh, Tobio! How was school today?” She smiled, pulling him in to kiss his forehead. She laughed when Tobio made a face and he sat down at the table, leaning back in the chair.

“School was okay, I have a few classes with Kuroo. We met up with Oikawa and Terushima after school and went to the park. Oh, and Shouyou messaged me. He said he needed to talk to me and it was important? I don't know what it is, he said he's going to tell me on Wednesday.”

Tobio’s mother stopped stirring the contents in the pot and turned towards him, her lips set in a straight line and her eyebrows creased. “He hasn’t told you yet?”

“Told me what?”

“Well, if he’s going to tell you, then I won’t say anything. His mother just told me a few weeks ago, that’s all.” She returned to stirring and left Tobio with his thoughts. A few weeks ago? What the hell could be so important that Shouyou deemed it necessary to tell him now but his mother told _his_ mom a few weeks ago? He was suddenly angry and shoved himself from the table, stomping up to his room. He whipped out his phone and typed out a quick reply, anger seeping through his words.

_“What could be so important that you need to tell me in 2 days? Your mom told my mom, didn't she? Why didn’t you tell me when she told my mom?”_

He flung himself onto his bed and stayed there, his face shoved into a pillow, until his mom came up to tell him dinner was done. He stayed still and his mom came over to sit beside him on the bed. “Tobio, don’t think about what Shouyou didn’t tell you, okay? He will, I’m sure of it. Tell me what you did at school today.”

Thoughts of applying for the volleyball club and art club flew through his mind and he instantly perked up, sitting up on his legs. “I sent in applications for the volleyball club and art club.”

“Oh, Tobio, that’s wonderful! Did they ever call you in?”

“No, not yet. But I’m hoping I get accepted. I really want to do both. I think I can balance them out if I try hard enough.”

“I’m sure you can, sweetie,” Tobio’s mom smiled, patting his cheek. She bit her lip in thought, a frown etching itself onto her mouth, and she met his eyes again. “How are you going to buy the stuff you need, Tobio? Have you thought about that?” Tobio swallowed, his throat felt dry all of a sudden. He knew she would bring this up somehow.

“I-I don’t know, mom.”

“You know we don’t have a lot of money, and your father hasn’t visited in months. I’ll try my best to get you what you need, but just remember that I may not have the money when you really need them.” Tobio’s mother pulled him into a hug and Tobio nodded, squeezing his eyes shut. He completely forgot. He nodded and sniffed, pulling back to look at his mom.

“It’s alright, mom. Do what’s best, but please don’t stress out because of me.”

* * *

 

Wednesday came, the day Shouyou wanted to talk to him in person, but that day flew by and so did Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. A good three weeks went by without a word from Shouyou. Tobio had even messaged Shouyou on Wednesday, asking him where to meet and what time, but never got a reply back. To say that Tobio was furious was an understatement. But that day did come, when Shouyou finally showed up unannounced at his house in the middle of a calm Saturday during his freshman year.

Tobio heard the faint knock from his bedroom, his music blaring through his speakers. He turned it down and peeked out the window, looking down to see who it was but the roof blocked off the porch. He grumbled under his breath and stomped downstairs, flinging the door open and was about to berate the postman again but he stopped. He stared at the bright, orange head of hair and all his thoughts were banished from his head. He bit his lip and gripped the doorknob, clenching his jaw. “Nice of you to finally show up after three weeks.” He said bitterly.

“I couldn’t help it, Tobio. I had the time and place down and was going to call you and everything but I got held up.” Shouyou frowned, crossing his arms.

“Whatever. Just tell me what’s so important so I can go back to my homework.” Shouyou looked at Tobio intensely, scrunching up his nose.

“You really did change, didn’t you?” Shouyou whispered, casting his eyes down at the wooden boards beneath his feet.

“Everyone changes, Shouyou. You just haven’t been around me because you hardly hang out with me anymore.”

“Th-That’s not my fault and you know it!” Shouyou cried, balling his hands into fists. “I didn’t come here to fight with you, Tobio. I told you I wanted to tell you something. May I come in? Or would you rather go for a walk?”

“Walk.” Tobio responded and he locked up the house behind him, following after Shouyou down the walkway and towards the park they used to always go to. “What’s so important?” He repeated.

Shouyou was quiet for a good ten or so minutes, trying to muster up the courage to admit what had him preoccupied those past three weeks. The corners of his eyes were red, Tobio noticed, and looked puffy. How has he not seen that back at the house? Had he not been sleeping? Or had he been crying?

“Tobio, you know you’re my best friend right? My only best friend. And you always will be.” Shouyou started, his breathing picking up slightly. Tobio faltered in his step and glanced at Shouyou, his own breathing getting caught in his throat.

“What are you saying?” Tobio forced out, his voice cracking on the last syllable. He feared the worst.

“I’m moving, Tobio.”

Those words hit deep in his heart and he stopped walking, forgetting how to breathe. No. No no no no. This was not happening. Just as him tripping at school in front of a crowd of people and screwing up his hands and knees. No. He wouldn’t believe it; wouldn’t accept it.

“You’re lying.” Was what Tobio went with. His voice shook and he squeezed his eyes shut, telling himself over and over that this was a dream. Just a dream.

“I’m not.”

And when those words flew from Shouyou’s lips, everything just snapped and came tumbling out of Tobio’s mouth and he couldn’t stop it and the tears he didn’t know he still had cascaded down his cheeks and he shook his head fast, his whole body shaking.

“I won’t believe this! You can’t just leave, Shouyou! Is this why you have been avoiding me?”

“I leave in two days.” Came the smallest voice Tobio ever heard. That’s what made him cry harder and he started to walk again, to try and make himself calm down.

“Why did you chose to tell me now!? My mom said she knew a month ago! What the hell, Shouyou! I trusted you so much and you go and do this?” Tobio yelled, throwing his hands up. Shouyou ran after him, pleading.

“Tobio, I didn’t have a chance to tell you, I told you this before! My mom told yours because she was done with everything that needed to be done. I was still packing! I had to leave school and focus on this and knowing that you were going to be upset with me when I told you scared me far more than when I caught you doing drugs!” Shouyou cried, hiccuping into his shirt when they finally stopped walking. They stood in the middle of the crowded park and Tobio felt exposed. The tear tracks along his cheeks and his red cheeks and puffy eyes giving away that he was a coward. That he didn’t want to accept the fact that Shouyou was moving away and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

“Shouyou, please don’t leave. Don’t leave me.” Tobio finally spoke, his lips trembling along with his body. “You are my only friend, the only one I can call a true friend. Don’t leave me alone.” This caused Shouyou to make a noise in the back of his throat and rush forward, wrapping his arms tight around Tobio’s waist, burying his face in his chest.

“I wish I could stay, Tobio, I wish I wish I wish. But I can’t. Dad got stationed somewhere up north and he wants us to go live with him.” Shouyou’s voice was muffled by Tobio’s shirt and he hugged him back just as tight.

“How far up north?” Tobio whispered.

“10 hours, maybe more. I wasn’t told that much.”

“Shouyou…”

“I know. I know… I’m so sorry, Tobio. Please, please keep in contact with me. I don’t want to lose the only best friend I’ve ever had.” Tobio’s heart swelled up and he hugged Shouyou tighter, burying his face into his hair. He nodded.

“I won’t. I promise.” They pulled away from each other, having made enough of a scene as it was. Shouyou tugged Tobio along back towards their houses and silence poured over them. A good silence.

“So… You’re moving in a few days?” Tobio asked, putting his hands into his pockets, staring down at his feet.

“Yeah. Friday.” Shouyou said, scuffing his feet on the pavement as he walked.

“I’ll see you off.”

“Tobio, that’s going to make it so much more harder for me to accept. You know it too.” Tobio didn’t respond, knowing that yes it was indeed true. They stopped outside of Tobio’s house and stood still for a few minutes, not knowing what to do. Shouyou finally sprang forward and hugged Tobio again.

“I wish I could stay. I really wish. Just remember that I’m still here through volleyball and messages, okay?” Shouyou smiled tearfully, looking up at Tobio. The latter nodded and ruffled the orange mess of hair, mimicking his smile.

“Message me when you get there, okay? Tell me all about the car rides and things you see.”

“You know I will.” Shouyou laughed, hugging him once more. He pulled back and started down the pathway, waving. “I love you, Tobio! We’ll see each other soon, I promise! Keep playing volleyball and drawing, I know you’ll go far with them. I believe in you!”

Tobio watched Shouyou leave and another sob finally broke through, the tears he had been holding back since leaving the park finally escaping once more. “I love you too, Shouyou. Please be safe.”

* * *

 

Months pass and Tobio was still missing a part of himself. The part that left when Shouyou finally wasn’t a full part of his life anymore. He felt empty and numb and anything he tried to do to take his mind off of it resulted in him breaking down in his room for a good few hours until his mom found him and held him close. She never said anything, just held him until he calmed down.

He always went to drawing Shouyou when he felt upset or needed to occupy himself at school. Kuroo noticed this and teased him for the first few weeks until Tobio finally snapped at him and told him why he was drawing Shouyou and then Kuroo understood and shut up. Oikawa and Terushima never teased him, they always told Tobio to go with them drinking or to smoke whenever he was feeling down and he always agreed. Drinking and smoking and sometimes doing drugs with them always helped him calm down and forget about Shouyou and his missing part even if it was just for a night.

He would also drink at home too, now that his mother took up another job to try and help out with buying Tobio’s volleyball and art club equipment and tools he needed to have. He happened upon some liquor in a high up cabinet that was pushed all the way to the back and he realized that maybe this was his dad’s when he was home all the time. Tobio grabbed the remaining bottles and went to his room, shutting and locking the door behind him. He sat down on his bed and stared at the bottle in his hand. It felt heavy against his palm, and he let it drop to the floor. He flopped back onto his bed and heaved a sigh, closing his eyes.

Shouyou messaged him every once in awhile whenever he had the time, but that turned into messages every few days to every few weeks to eventually messages once a month. It hurt, knowing that Shouyou was forgetting about him while he was still wishing Shouyou was back down here again. Tobio rolled onto his side and was about to pick up the bottle he dropped when he heard an unfamiliar car pull up outside his house. Now, he's been living with his mom from when he was a baby and he knew the sound of her car by heart.

Tobio stood up and went to the window, peering out through the closed blinds. It was a dark blue car that looked like it was freshly polished. Tobio clicked his tongue and kicked the liquor bottles under his bed before leaving the confinements of his room to answer the door. He opened the door and was caught off guard.

Now, Tobio hasn’t seen his father in over a good 13 years and he’s forgotten most everything about the man except for when he saw him in pictures his mother had stashed away in her room. But right away he could tell that this man standing before him was in fact his father. He narrowed his eyes and stood between the door and the door frame, gripping the wood tightly in his hand.

“May I help you?” The man, his father, looked down at Tobio and a small smile erupted onto his face, stepping forward a little.

“Tobio, hello. It’s been quite some time, hasn’t it?”

“Mm. I’m sure it has. What do you want? Mom isn’t home.” Tobio sighed.

“She isn’t? I was hoping to catch her at the house today. Do you know where she might be?” His father tugged at his tie, loosening it.

“She’s at work. She has to work more hours. Why do you want to know?”

“I need to speak with her, but I also need to speak with you later on, if that’s alright with you,” Tobio’s father cleared his throat, pulling out his phone and handing it to Tobio. “If you could write down her address, I’d appreciate it.”  
  
“You know, being her husband, you should know where she works. But I guess being away from home for 13 years makes you forget things.” Tobio said idly as he typed in his mother’s address. He roughly handed the phone back and began to close the door when his father stopped him again.

“Tobio, I know I haven’t been home since you were small, but it was for work. Your mother knows this as well. Please don’t be upset with me. I’ll… I’ll see you later.” He waved to Tobio and walked back down to his car, getting in it and driving away. Tobio watched him go and shook his head, closing the door behind him. His father shows up just out of nowhere after so many years and expects to be welcomed back in with open arms? Ha. Tobio laughed out loud at that and sat down on the couch, pulling his legs up to his chest.

Shouyou leaves, and now his dad’s back?

 

“What the hell…”

 

* * *

 

Tobio sat before his father at the kitchen table and his mother sat opposite to him. She set the table with the pork curry she had made and glanced at the two male patrons at the table, nudging her husband to start up a conversation with his son. He nodded.

“Tobio, your mother and I spoke when I went to her work. She understands why I was gone for so long, and so should you.”

“Still doesn’t explain the no calling or no letters or anything.” Tobio grumbled, picking at his food. He wasn’t even hungry and pork curry was his favorite food.

“How old are you now? 16?” His father said instead of answering back. “That’s a good age to start going out and looking for a suitable girlfriend right?” Tobio spluttered and dropped his chopsticks onto the table, flinging rice everywhere.

“Excuse me? I don’t want to have a girlfriend. I’m fine with volleyball and art right now, thank you very much.” Tobio seethed, glaring at his father. His father simply shrugged a shoulder and continued on.

“Well, you should. Your mother and I aren’t going to be around for that much longer and we want some grandkids. I know you’re strong enough to find one on your own.”

“I’m 16 years old! That’s too young to find a girlfriend! And why can’t you get it through your thick head that I don’t _want a girlfriend?”_ Tobio yelled, slamming his hands down on the table. His mother jumped in her seat and put a hand on her husband's shoulder, giving him a look.

“Honey, he _is_ only 16. We aren’t going to leave anytime soon, okay? Let him live a little and be himself. We never talked about this when we spoke earlier.” She frowned.

“Well, he needs to understand this now so he’ll go out and start searching soon. He’s mature enough.” Tobio’s father gave his wife a mirrored frown and went back to eating. They grew quiet and ate through an uneasy silence, Tobio fidgeting in his seat and still poking at his food. He quietly excused himself and made his way upstairs to his bedroom, shutting and locking it behind him. He slid down to the floor and groaned into his hands, slamming his head back against the wall behind him. He didn’t want a girlfriend, he didn’t even want to make new friends besides his current ones. He only wanted to focus on his art and volleyball club.

Tobio lifted his head from his hands when he heard his phone go off from his bed and he scrambled up to grab it, flipping it open. His eyes landed on the familiar name that flashed across the screen and he could almost cry out in joy. It was _Shouyou._

So he really didn’t forget all about him! Tobio smiled so big he felt his cheeks begin to hurt as he read the message Shouyou sent him.

_“Hey, Tobio! How are you? :D Sorry it’s been awhile since I last texted you, mom has been on my case about grades and trying to do better in school. You know how I get with homework. Who even does that anymore?? Anyway, how’s  volleyball doing for you? Are you keeping up with it and continuing to practice? I am too! I tried joining the volleyball club at my school but I couldn’t get in because of my grades so that was a bummer. Text me back soon!!”_

Tobio bit his lip and reread the message again. Oh, Shouyou. He knew how much volleyball also meant to him, and to hear that he couldn’t get in the club at his school was a bummer indeed. But it was also Shouyou’s fault for not keeping up his grades.

He exhaled slowly, cracking his fingers, and began typing out his reply,

 _“Shouyou, hey. It’s nice to hear from you. Why aren’t you doing better in school? You know you can call me and I can try to help, although I’m pretty suckish at math and english. Volleyball has been amazing, I got into my school’s volleyball club and so far it’s been like how I expected it to be. Practice spikes, serves, flying falls, receives; the usual. I’m also keeping up on my art, and I’m in the art club at my school too. But it’s hard to try and keep two clubs at once, it takes a toll on me after I’m finished. And I’m sorry to hear that you didn’t make it into your volleyball club. Try again next year and I’m sure you’ll make it if you try harder with your grades. I miss you. Text me back soon. I love you.”_  
  
He clicked the send button and reached under his bed to grab the closest liquor bottle to him and popped the cap off, chugging a bit of it. Tobio leaned on his bed and buried his head into his arms, shaking his head. He needs to stop this. If not for him, if not for his mother or even his father, but for Shouyou. He expects so much of him, and Tobio feels like each time he takes a drink or smokes, that he's failing every one of his expectations that Shouyou set for Tobio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mmmm it's getting more into the plot now. Hope you enjoy! 11 pages. Also, if you didn't realize it before, the italics are text messages
> 
> My tumblr is ryo-creampuff-bakura.tumblr.com if anyone is interested
> 
> I also don't know why the first chapter notes keeps reappearing. AO3 what the heck


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the lovely comments, kudos, and bookmarks!! Getting feedback like this always makes me want to write more to make you guys happy <3 
> 
> Kageyama is 20 just slightly in the beginning of the chapter, but then it transitions to him when he's 25 and in college.

A good four years passed and Tobio changed dramatically. For the better, he always tells himself. He couldn’t keep drinking like he did anyways, it could cause some serious problems for him and what he wanted to do in life. He still did smoke every so often when he felt stressed from volleyball and his art.

That was another thing. His art. He had given up on pursuing his first dream of becoming an artist like his mother and instead, chose to go full force with volleyball. Tobio enjoyed it thoroughly and with Oikawa on his team, they were becoming noticed as one of the highest feared duo in all of Japan. It was exciting, to be in the spotlight with one of whom he now called a best friend. 

Oikawa was always there for him when Shouyou wasn’t, simple as that.

It wasn’t as if Tobio completely forgot about Shouyou, no. It was never like that. He just gave up trying to continue to message Shouyou when he never got anything in return. It continued like that a whole year after he left, and it left Tobio in such a terrible state his mother had to get him a therapist. His mom knows he drinks and smokes now, after having caught him with Oikawa in the backyard of Tobio’s house. That day was horrible; so much yelling, so much things getting thrown around, threats, but Tobio’s mother forgave him eventually and he only drinks whenever he’s at Oikawa’s house or when his mom is gone for a number of days.

Life without Shouyou sucked, in a way. The brightness Tobio looked forward to every day was now gone, and in replace was a dark shadow of the person he once knew. 

* * *

 

“Hey, Kageyama. Come over to my house and let’s practice for the upcoming match.” Oikawa drawled, sounding muffled.

Tobio groaned into his hand and pulled the phone away from his ear, biting down on the back of his hand. He forgot about the match, and it was so near too. Next week. “Ugh, okay. Just, let me get dressed. I’ve been in my pajamas all day.”

“Lazy day for you too, hm?”

“Always.” He heard a laugh escape the receiver and he shook his head, grinning dumbly. Sometimes Oikawa was dumb, and that’s what he liked about him. He put Oikawa on speaker and started undressing, planning out the rest of his day inside his head.

“After practice, what do you want to do?” Tobio said after a while, zipping up his jacket and slung his bag over his shoulder.

“We could order out and watch movies? I know you haven’t watched that documentary about the alien abductions, so we should watch that.”

“Sure. Whatever you want.” Tobio laughed. He grabbed his phone and exited his apartment, locking the door behind him. He had moved out last year when he finally got a part time job and had saved up enough to leave. Oikawa keeps trying to persuade him to let him move in with him, but Tobio won’t allow it.

“It’s too much work, and you’re such a huge hassle anyways.”

“Rude!”

He arrived at Oikawa’s house no later than half past five. Oikawa still lived with his parents, surprisingly. Maybe that’s why he kept bugging Tobio to let him move in. Maybe he’ll think about it. Tobio stepped up onto the porch, raising his fist to knock and almost hit Oikawa square in the chest when the door suddenly opened. Tobio’s eyes widened and then he actually did hit him when he recovered his heart from jumping into his throat.

“Asshole, don’t do that.” Tobio frowned, pushing past Oikawa.

“Wow, okay. Welcome home, Kageyama. Do whatever you wish. Shoes go over there, the backyard is over this way.” Oikawa rolled his eyes and smacked the back of Tobio’s head. Tobio followed Oikawa out to the yard and he set down his bag, stretching his arms above his head.

“You know, if we win this match, we go to nationals,” Oikawa smiled, spinning the ball in between his hands. He turned to face Tobio and cocked his head to the side, still smiling brightly. Like Shouyou used to always do. “Aren’t you excited?”

“Of course, but it’s mere child’s play now. I’ve been to nationals three times before, mind you. Back in high school.” Tobio grunted, shrugging off his jacket and pulled on his kneepads. He walked out onto the makeshift court in the middle of the grass and stood beside Oikawa, staring down at the dirt beneath his feet. Oikawa looked at Tobio softly and placed a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. 

“We’ll make it, Kageyama. And then we’ll win nationals, and go to the olympics. We’ll be the best in Japan.”

What Oikawa said struck something inside of Tobio and he inwardly grimaced. That’s almost exactly what Shouyou always said to him whenever they practiced in Shouyou’s yard. That they’ll always win and go to nationals and the olympics. A dream that never came true,  _ will  _ never come true. Tobio bit down hard on his bottom lip and balled his hands into fists at the thought. He squeezed his eyes shut and could feel Oikawa moving closer to him and then a strong pair of arms were around him. It was so warm, being embraced like this, that Tobio forgot about his thoughts and hugged Oikawa back. He buried his face in his collar and clutched the back of his shirt tightly, trying to control his breathing. Oikawa slowly rubbed his back and shushed him, laying his cheek against the side of Tobio’s head.

“It’s okay, Kageyama. It’s okay…”

The rest of what happened was a blur. He hardly remembers any of it. But what he did  _ clearly  _ remember was the softness of Oikawa’s lips against his own, calming him down rapidly. But he didn’t stop there, nor did Tobio want him to stop.

It was addicting.

The taste of his lips, the faint taste of what Oikawa had ate before he arrived, the broadness of his shoulders, the soft locks of hair that was being grasped in his hands, his height.

Everything.

Tobio was tugged along to Oikawa’s bedroom to escape prying eyes and locked the door, pushing Tobio back until they reached the bed and Tobio toppled back onto it. Tobio looked up and a heavy moan escaped his throat when Oikawa crawled over him, kissing up his neck and towards his mouth again, whispering against them,

“I’ve been dreaming about doing this to you for a long, long time. You just wouldn’t let me have you.”

“I- What…?” Tobio asked breathlessly, blinking his eyes open. 

“I like you. I really like you.” Oikawa’s thumb traced over Tobio’s bottom lip and it made it especially hard to concentrate. 

“F-For how long?”

“Going on 3 years now.”

“Fuck… Oikawa…” Tobio whined, dropping his head back onto the pillow. Oikawa laid his full weight on Tobio and caressed his face, eyeing him with a look Tobio just couldn’t read.

“What is it?”

“I- I don’t know. I think I may like you, but I’ve never liked anyone like that before and it’s just so sudden and I don’t know how to deal with it-” A finger pushed on Tobio’s lips and effectively shut him up. He met Oikawa’s eyes and swallowed, nodding at him.

“I’m not telling you to choose right this instant, no. You have as much time as you want.” Oikawa said, leaning up to kiss Tobio’s chin, nuzzling the underside of his jaw.

“Okay, that’s fair,” Tobio nodded once more, his eyes slipping shut at the contact Oikawa was making with his skin. “Just…”

“Hm?”

“Kiss me again.”

* * *

 

The match come and goes. Tobio’s team wins and they go out drinking to celebrate their going to nationals. He shouldn’t have agreed, but he hasn’t drank in over three months and he thinks that it’s as good a time as any. 

Tobio sits next to Oikawa and orders something strong, Oikawa ordering something fruity for a first drink of the night. Tobio just wants this night over with. It was a horrible decision to go drinking right after the end of the match. His body was sore, he was sweating like a pig. He just wanted to go home, shower, catch up on a few drawings he wanted to finish, and sleep.

He drinks his shot and slams it down, flicking his hand to signal that he wanted another. Oikawa gave him a look and put a hand over Tobio’s on the bar, narrowing his eyes.

“Kageyama, stop. I don’t want you getting wasted within the first few hours that we’ve arrived.” Oikawa tsked.

“But I want to. I want this night to be over.” Tobio shrugged, pulling his hand out from under Oikawa’s. Oikawa wouldn’t have that, and grabbed it back and held it tightly.

“Kageyama. Please. Try to enjoy yourself? If you don’t feel up for it in an hour, we will leave, okay? I promise.” Oikawa said softly, slipping his hand into Tobio’s. Tobio thinks he's being caring, but he’s probably just doing it for himself to save face. 

“Fine.” Tobio obliged. He ordered the same fruity drink Oikawa did and left it at that.

He didn’t go home after an hour. Neither did Oikawa.

They stayed at the bar until close to one in the morning, and by then Tobio was completely plastered and Oikawa was bordering wasted. Oikawa helped Tobio out of the bar, more like stumbled out of the bar, and hailed a taxi. Tobio couldn’t keep his hands to himself and soon enough, they were back at Tobio’s apartment and all he could remember were hands. Oikawa’s strong hands all over his body, making him feel known. 

Making him feel accepted.

He feels like he admitted something that night to Oikawa, but Oikawa wouldn’t say anything.

* * *

 

It was the day of nationals and Tobio was stressing himself out more than he probably should. Oikawa stood behind him in the locker room, rubbing Tobio’s shoulders to try and get some tension out. He leaned over him and kissed the side of his neck, squeezing his shoulders.

“Don’t be so uptight, okay? It’ll be okay, don’t worry.” Oikawa mumbled, letting go of Tobio’s shoulders in favor of wrapping his arms around his waist. Tobio shook his head.

“It’s not that easy. Plus, it’s even more stress knowing that we  _ have  _ to win this.”

“We don’t have to win anything, Tobio. We just want to,” Oikawa shrugged, kissing Tobio’s neck one last time before pulling off. He grabbed his water bottle and nudged Tobio along towards the door. “And you have me, so that should be another weight off your back.”

The match went by fast than Tobio imagined it would. It was fruitful to say the least. His team won the first three in a row and it was certain that they were going to win. Tobio forgot all about the stress of the game and focused on his tosses and Oikawa and the points that kept stacking up until he spotted someone amongst the crowd and he froze. Thankfully, it was during the other team's time-out, but still.

_ Why was he here? _

Tobio tried to erase him from his mind and focus back on the game when the whistle blew, but he just couldn’t. It messed him up big time, and he was sure that  _ he  _ didn’t mean to do it anyway.

But he did.

The game ends with nothing less of a victory for Tobio’s team and Tobio wasn’t all that excited as he was before. Sure they won, but  _ why the fuck was he here? _

Oikawa walked up to him and tossed him a towel and water bottle, noticing that Tobio was on edge. “What’s wrong?” He asked, pulling Tobio off to the side. He didn’t meet Oikawa’s eyes and even then he knew something was up.

“He’s here.”

“I’m sorry, who?”

“ _ Him. _ ”

“Tobio, who the hell is here? I don’t know your mixed signals or whatever. Just tell me.” Oikawa groaned, shoving Tobio back a little. Tobio gave him a hard glare and shoved him back harder.

“Shouyou’s here!” Oikawa stared at Tobio for a second before he blanched.

“You’re not serious, are you?”

“I am! I saw him in the stands during the last time out! What the hell is he doing here??” Tobio cried, slinking down to the floor and put his head in his hands. Oikawa stood above him with a hand on his hip and a disgruntled look masking his face

“How the hell should I know? Do you want me to say something to him-?”

“No! No, anything but that. I just don’t know what to do. Why would he be here, after so many years passed?” Tobio shook his head into his towel. Oikawa sighed heavily and knelt down in front of Tobio.

“I don’t know, maybe you should talk to him and find out? He probably came all this way just to see you. Maybe he didn’t. You won’t know until you talk to him.” He said softly, stroking Tobio’s hair gently.

“You’re right.” Tobio finally said, feeling defeated. He pushed Oikawa’s hand off his head and stood up, sucking in a huge breath. Oikawa followed suit and pulled him close, kissing his cheek. 

“You’ll do fine.”

* * *

 

Most of the gym had already cleared out by the time Tobio entered it again, after cooling his head off with Oikawa’s help. He glanced around nervously, kind of hoping that Shouyou had already left but nope. That wasn’t the case at all.

He was still here.

Sitting on one of the empty benches, his back to Tobio. He was fidgeting, like he was nervous. 

_ Well, he should be, _ Tobio thought, urging himself to step forward.  _ Asshole.  _ He cleared his throat.

“So you finally show up.” Was what first came out of his mouth and he flinched, not meaning for it to sound that mean. Shouyou jumped up from the bench and swirled around, his eyes blown wide. He stared at Tobio for a long while an unreadable expression on his face, before snapping out of his thoughts with a shake of his head. A smile made its way on his lips and he tilted his head to the side, just like always.

“Hey, Tobio. It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, it has.” Tobio snapped back, crossing his arms as he stood before Shouyou, though a few feet away so it wouldn’t become awkward. He didn’t meet his eyes, couldn’t meet his eyes, and his throat felt extremely dry.

“I’m really, really sorry, first of all. You don’t know how sorry I am-” Shouyou began, but was quickly cut off by an enraged Tobio who balled his hands into fists at his sides.

“Sorry?  _ You’re sorry!?  _ How many years has it been, Shouyou? Hm? Four! Four goddamn years of nothing but silence from you! And you expect me to just drop everything and accept your apology? Do you know what the hell I went through during those four years? No!” Tobio yelled, becoming angrier each second he spat out a word. He turn to the side so he wouldn’t have to see Shouyou and felt his eyes burn. He squeezed them shut and held his breath, trying with all his might to calm down.

“Tobio, come on! I am sorry! Everything just happened after the first year I left and things got chaotic and it was horrible and I couldn’t call you or message you or try and meet up with you again, I  _ couldn’t!”  _ Shouyou cried out, stepping around the bench to reach forward and grab Tobio’s jersey tightly. Tobio tensed up and hesitantly met Shouyou’s eyes for the first time since he saw him, his eyes narrowed. 

“What could have been so important that you just, forgot about me?” He breathed out, pushing Shouyou away from him.

“My parents are getting a divorce, I had to move again. It’s all just a blur now. I chose to not think about it because I just don’t want to.” Shouyou rubbed his arm, looking down at the wooden floor beneath their feet sullenly. Tobio released another breath he didn’t know he had been holding and faced Shouyou again. He bit his lip in thought.

“Okay, I’m sorry too. For, um, shouting at you like that. I… I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t know about what happened with you either,” Shouyou offered him a small smile and nudged Tobio’s arm with his elbow. “How about we start over?”

“Yeah, that- that sounds nice.”

“Hi, it’s been quite a few years, hasn’t it?”

“Yeah…”

* * *

 

“So do you still do art or is it just volleyball now?” Shouyou asked, chowing down on his curry. Tobio watched him from across the table in his apartment and he bit back a grin. Oikawa had allowed Shouyou to come over and was even nice to him. Now he was just sitting in the living room, watching one of his documentaries again.

“Volleyball, mostly. Sometimes I draw on my off days, but it’s usually close to none.” Tobio shrugged, simply picking at his food instead of eating it. He wasn’t all that hungry, and since Shouyou was here at his apartment, he was feeling a little more on edge than usually.

“That’s a shame, you should really draw more on your days off, Tobio. It’s good to keep up your art. You’re, what, 25 now? You could go somewhere with your art too! Not just with volleyball. You’re talented both ways,” Shouyou beamed, taking a sip of his water. “After all, I’m still in volleyball too!”

Tobio choked on a piece of rice and he slammed a fist into his chest. “N-No way? I’d have thought you’d quit after you moved.” Shouyou laughed.

“Nope! Not at all, I still really love it. That’s why I came down here to see you, well, it wasn’t actually for you, but for the team I was watching. One of my friends is on that team and was playing you, but I didn’t know you’d be there, for obvious reasons. It was a surprise to see you, though, a good surprise.”

Tobio nodded at Shouyou and listened to him, realizing he was just as enthusiastic as he was when they were smaller. Some things never change.

“Were you just down here for the match?” He asked, pushing his plate aside and leaned back in his chair.

“Yeah, I have a hotel room just a few blocks away from the gymnasium. It’s a really nice hotel, actually. But enough about me, how have you been? I see you moved in with, what’s his face?”

“Oikawa?”

“Yeah! He’s really nice. How long have you been roommates? Do you go to the same college?” Shouyou fired off, smiling brightly. He leaned his arms on the table and kicked his feet up, apologizing when he kicked Tobio in the shin.

“Uh, we’ve been, um, roommates for a while now, maybe a little less than a year? I don’t remember, and yeah, we do.” Tobio really didn’t want to go into a long spiel about he and Oikawa, especially now that they were dating. He also didn’t want to make Shouyou uncomfortable with him knowing that they were together. It just wouldn’t be right after they finally met up. 

They talk for well over a few hours, Oikawa occasionally dropping in with some sweets- _“What the hell kind of chocolates are those?” “They’re alien-shaped, duh.” “That’s so stupid.” “I like them! They’re really tasty.” “Shut up, Shouyou,”_ \- until Shouyou eventually brought up that he had to leave.

Tobio walked him to the door and stepped outside into the freezing wind with Shouyou. He stared ahead for awhile, not wanting things to end so soon, when Shouyou hugged him suddenly. He blinked at the shock but wrapped his arms around the smaller male, bringing him even closer. 

“It was great to see you again, Tobio, really. I had missed you so much.” Shouyou mumbled into his shirt. Tobio nodded.

“We should meet up again soon. You have to remember to check your phone too, stupid. You can’t forget about it.”

“I know! I’m sorry, again.” Shouyou said sheepishly, stepping back. He looked up and met Tobio’s eyes, a smile adorning his lips, and he waved. “See you.”

Tobio watched him go, feeling as if time had rewound itself back to when they were smaller and Shouyou was leaving for the first time. He swallowed back the frog in his throat and lifted a hand, waving slightly, Shouyou’s body disappearing into the elevator. “Yeah, see you.”

  
Time will only tell when they would meet again.  _ If  _ they would ever meet again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of like a filler chapter of sorts. Things happen, Kageyama gets into a relationship, they go to nationals, Shouyou comes back. Everything sort of jumbles together in this.
> 
> Also, does anyone know how to get read of the 2nd end notes that keep appearing? I tried but couldn't figure it out and it's annoying me so much since it's supposed to be in the first chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the lateness of this! I recently had a terrible stomach bug and it just blew everything out the window, plus with trying to plan for upcoming conventions in July has me stressed so so much.
> 
> Again, thank you for the kudos and comments! I always greatly appreciate them <3
> 
> Italics are used for the text messages between Oikawa and Terushima

Oikawa had a sneaking suspicion for a while now, ever since Hinata Shouyou arrived back in town for their last match at nationals. He somewhat knew before, but after nationals, everything clicked and made sense for the first time in a while and he smiled sadly.

Kageyama wasn’t in love with him. Simply, he was in love with Hinata.  _ Has  _ been probably since before he moved. 

Oikawa didn’t know whether to upset, betrayed, or happy, or even a mix of all three. He wanted to talk to Kageyama about this whole deal and kept trying to bring it up in conversation each time they were alone but couldn’t. He just couldn’t. He loved Kageyama far too much and if he let him go now, then he didn't know what the future held for him. He was absolutely terrified that Kageyama will drop everything and leave him, leave him for Hinata. His gut feeling always told him it will happen one of these days, probably when he least expects it, and he knows. 

He just knows. That Kageyama will end up leaving him for Hinata. It was inevitable.

 

* * *

 

Tobio arrived home late, carrying a bag of takeout in his hand (Oikawa’s favorite) and closed the door behind him. Shouyou was in town again, he was leaving next week, and spent the day with him trying to catch up more on what they missed during the years they weren’t together. He could tell Oikawa was getting agitated over the fact that he was spending so much time with Shouyou now rather than with him and it was getting to the point where Tobio was getting fed up with his attitude.

“I’m home,” He called out, toeing off his shoes. “I brought dinner.” Oikawa emerged from the bathroom, wiping his hands on a towel, and smiled. He walked over to Tobio and kissed his temple, easily taking the bag from Tobio’s hand.

“Ah, welcome home. How was your day out with Hinata?” Oikawa mused, entering the kitchen and setting the bag down on the table. Tobio sat down and leaned back in the chair, utterly exhausted.

“Tiring. I forgot how much energy he has, and still has. He’s only 25, he shouldn’t have that much energy for a 25 year old.” Tobio complained, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. Oikawa only laughed at that and stood behind Tobio, his hands resting on his shoulders to give him a massage. 

“Well, you can’t really blame him. He hasn’t seen you in over how many years? He’s really excited.” Oikawa murmured, kissing the back of Tobio’s head softly. Tobio nodded in agreement and leaned back into him, letting his eyes slip shut.

* * *

 

Days passed, and with each day came a new speaking suspicion that something was up with Tobio and Hinata. Oikawa continued to try and get information out of Tobio each time he came home, which was later and later in the day as each day passed by. He tried contacting Kuroo but to no avail. He was busy spending time with his new boyfriend than to even talk to Oikawa anymore. So his last resort was Terushima, and he hoped that he could help him out.

_ “Heeeey, Teru-chan~! I need a bit of help from you if you’re free.”  _

_ “Yeah, what is it?” _

_ “Tobio-chan’s been acting strange these past few weeks and I’m kind of getting worried that the little shrimp is having an affect on him like he did before. What do I do??” _

_ “Are you jealous that he’s hanging out with him again, really?” _

_ “Not jealous! Just overly cautious is all. He spends most of his time with shrimpy now instead of me and he just doesn’t seem to care.” _

_ “Talk with him about it, Oikawa, jeez. He’s not going to know these things unless you tell him outright. He is dense.” _

_ “Ugghhhhhh. But telling him would make things more suspicious than they already seem.” _ _  
_

_ “Oikawa, I swear to anything that’s holy, talk to him. Make it known that you are concerned about the whole ordeal or whatever. Just, don’t skip past it and ignore it. If you do, it’ll only get worse and maybe, just maybe, it’ll happen.” _

_ “Fine. ): I’ll let you know how it goes.” _

 

* * *

 

“Wow! I bet I can swing higher than you, Tobio!” Shouyou grinned, dashing ahead of Tobio towards the swings, kicking up snow on the way. Tobio shouted something behind him and raced after the smaller male, only reaching the swings a fraction of a second behind Shouyou.

“Your short legs can’t even reach the ground, how will you be able to swing higher than me?” Tobio teased, a mocking grin spread across his mouth. He pushed off from the sand and began to swing, Shouyou frantically trying his best to keep up.

“That’s no fair! Don’t bring my height into this, stupid!” Shouyou whined. He stopped trying to swing faster than Tobio once his legs became tired and his breath was making heavy clouds in the cold air. He snuck a glance at Tobio and smiled, reaching over to shove at Tobio. He really missed this, the interactions with Tobio he longed for. He closed his eyes and just willed himself to swing, enjoying the silence between them except for the wind blowing and the chains creaking with each movement. He puffed out a sigh and jumped off the swing when he got really high up, landing in a fresh pile of snow. He rolled onto his back and stared up at Tobio, who continued to swing despite Shouyou not swinging with him anymore. Tobio eventually noticed and he snorted, jumping off to land beside Shouyou. It became eerie silent once more.

Tobio rolled over onto his side to make eye contact with Shouyou and he breathed out slowly. “You’re leaving in a few days, right?”

“Yeah. I’m finishing up college and trying to pursue volleyball as much as I can. You’re finishing up soon too, aren’t you?”

“Yeah. It seems far too soon, though,” Tobio muttered, shrugging a shoulder. The snow was beginning to fall even more than before, the cold wind enveloping both of them in its embrace. “I’m going to have nothing to do now besides volleyball.”

“And your art. You can’t forget about your art.” Shouyou eventually replied, sitting up on his arm to look down at Tobio.

“I know,” Tobio sighed heavily, closing his eyes. A heavy guilt weighed down on his shoulders as he sat up, facing Shouyou. “How’s your family life going? Are they still going through the whole, divorce process?” At that, Shouyou groaned and flung his head into his hands, Tobio’s eyes widening and quickly apologizing for his rudeness.

“Ah, no, it’s not that. They’re still dealing with it, but it’s making my little sister upset and putting stress on me more than it should.”

“How so?” Tobio frowned.

“I have to take care of Natsu more often now than before, and dealing with both volleyball practice and college-- I just can’t deal with it. It’s so much stress, and I feel like I’m going to fail at any given moment,” Shouyou whispered, shaking his head. “I couldn’t live with knowing that I failed Natsu, like my parents did.”

“Shouyou, hey. You’re not failing her, and you won’t ever,” Tobio assured him, tugging on his arm to pull him into a hug. “She should understand how much stress you’re going through. It doesn’t make you any less of a human.” Shouyou nodded into Tobio’s shoulder, wrapping his arms even tighter around his waist. The feeling of a hand slowly stroking his hair made Shouyou feel calm and he released the breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He bit his lip and made the mistake of looking up at Tobio, to try and see what he was thinking. Their faces were inches apart and Shouyou’s heart fluttered, his once buried feelings for Tobio now springing back to life. His breath hitched and he looked away, feeling his face heat up considerably. He knew he shouldn’t feel like this, knew he shouldn’t be in Tobio’s arms in such a comfortable and intimate way, but he couldn’t make himself pull away. 

Tobio felt the exact same.

Tobio watched as Shouyou’s cheeks burned a bright pink, then faded into a deep shade of red. He at first thought it was just the cold bringing him to blush, but then realized that no, no it wasn’t. How was he so stupid enough to not figure it out right off the bat? Tobio swallowed his heart back down his throat and leaned forward, his lips brushing up against Shouyou’s cheekbone lightly. He could hear Shouyou’s breathing speed up and he smiled, more to himself than anything. 

“What is it?” Tobio asked quietly, rubbing circles on the others back slowly. A soft noise came from Shouyou’s throat and he pouted, gently punching Tobio in the ribs. He wanted to say something, to express how much he had longed for this to happen, he really did, but courage wasn’t his strong suit today it seemed. Plus, with the weight of knowing that Tobio was together with Oikawa in the back of his mind, he really  _ didn’t  _ want to say anything, in fear of Tobio only doing this because they were friends.  _ (Did friends even do this kind of thing?) _

Tobio leaned forward again to press his lips closer to Shouyou’s mouth this time, and Shouyou knew for a fact this wasn’t just because they were friends. He furrowed his eyebrows and lifted his head, turning it so he would capture Tobio’s lips with his own. It was as if time stopped, the snow ceased falling, and nothing moved other than the two in the snowy bank, kissing each other with a passionate embrace. Shouyou whimpered and flung his arms around Tobio’s shoulders, scooting closer to him so there wouldn’t be an inch in between them. Tobio accepted and tilted his head to the side, deepening the kiss as he fisted his hands into the back of Shouyou’s shirt.

They finally parted and the air between them seemed to have shifted completely, in a good way. Shouyou met Tobio’s eyes and he smiled, tears stinging his eyes. He was really happy and couldn’t believe that had just happened. “Did that… really just happen?” Tobio choked back a laughed and wiped the corners of his eyes, nodding. 

“Yes, I believe it did.” Tobio could hardly believe it himself, and after acknowledging that he did it, guilt rained down on him more than before. How would Oikawa respond to this? He would no doubt be upset and angry towards him. Would he leave him? Would he understand? He simply banished the thoughts to the back of his mind and solely focused on the problem at hand. 

“I’ve been meaning to tell you for the longest time, I swear, but I guess that just told you all, didn’t it?’ Shouyou said weakly, averting his gaze. He inhaled slowly and leaned away from Tobio so they could assess the damage they caused. Tobio grabbed Shouyou’s hands in his and squeezed, not meeting his gaze. 

“I, uh, feel the same way. About you, I mean. But I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how I would bring it up to Oikawa.” Shouyou grimaced at the name mention but slowly shook his head, already knowing how this is going to play out.

“It’s- It’s okay, really. I know that you and Oikawa have been together for a while now, and I’ll only be in the way, plus this- what happened right now, it shouldn’t have happened. I’m really, really sorry. I didn’t want to cause any harm to you or-”

“Shouyou, shut up. You didn’t cause any harm. If anything, all this was because of me and my stupid impulse control. Please don’t blame yourself. I’ll talk it out with Oikawa to see where it leads us.”

“No, Tobio, you don’t understand!” Shouyou shouted.

“What don’t I understand?” Tobio shouted back, growing upset at each passing moment.

“I don’t want you to split up because of me! That would be wrong in so many ways! W-We can just forget that this even happened, okay? That would be the best thing to do. A-Anyway, I have to go back to my hotel now. It was really nice meeting up with you again and I’ll message you later okay?” Shouyou yanked his hands back from Tobio’s grasp and stood up quickly, not bothering to brush himself off as he made a mad dash out of the park and away from Tobio.

He didn’t message Tobio that night, or the next.

 

* * *

 

The guilt he felt from that day forward weighed down on him way more than he thought it would. He tried to gather up the courage to send Shouyou a message, but even doing that caused him to rethink on what happened and throw his phone across the room. He knew Oikawa could sense something changed but didn’t want to bring it up, so he skirted around the problem and left an elephant in the room, so to speak.

Tobio tossed a volleyball into the air as he laid down on the couch, brewing over the situation. Oikawa had been hesitant but now it annoyed him to no end and he approached Tobio after he got out of the shower one night, towel drying his hair.

“Tobio?”

“Hm.”   


“Is everything alright? You seem a bit upset with something.” Oikawa said softly, moving Tobio’s legs up so he could drape them over his thighs. Tobio didn’t answer right away, instead, he continued to toss the ball up. Oikawa waited, nibbling on his bottom lip anxiously.

“There is something wrong, actually.” Tobio finally said, catching the ball in his hands and looking over at Oikawa from behind the ball.

“Care to tell me? If you want to, that is. I’m not forcing you.”

“No, I have to tell you.” Ah, so there  _ was  _ something Tobio had been keeping secret from him. Oikawa stayed silent, however, holding his breath in fear of what Tobio had to say next. “A week or so ago, you know how I hung out with Shouyou, right?”

Great. His fears were coming true. “Mhm, yes? What of it?”

“Well…” The pause, most definitely, hurt Oikawa more than actually knowing the truth. “We went to the park, and we started talking, right? I didn’t mean for anything to happen, I swear, it just did and I feel really bad about it but then again not really and I’m still freaking out about it, wondering if you’re gonna hate me and-”

“Tobio.” At the sound of his name being said, Tobio opened his eyes (he didn’t even realize he closed them) and stared at Oikawa, dread leaking into his expression. “What happened?” Oikawa asked, oh so calmly.

“We kissed.”

“Oh.” Oikawa heaved a sigh, putting a hand up to his forehead in disdain. “I kind of expected this, not going to lie.”

“Wh- You did? Why? I didn’t mean for this to happen, Tooru, I swear.”

“I know you didn’t, but it did. You feel regret, but probably not so much as you should, right? I know you liked Shrimpy-chan, you’ve liked him since we first met. You just didn’t realize,” Oikawa quickly held up a finger to silence Tobio since he had more to say. “Was going out with me the only way to cope with him leaving?”

Tobio’s jaw dropped at the accusation and he shook his head, spluttering as he sat up, flinging his arms up in disbelief. “N-No! What the hell, Tooru? I went out with you because I liked you, not because he left and I just wanted some, some ‘fling’ with you.” 

“What do you want to do now, then? I-I don’t want to keep holding you back if you wish to go back to Shrimpy.” Oikawa muttered, looking away from Tobio. When he heard nothing in reply, he knew right then that he had lost. Failed completely. He sighed in defeat and stood up, pushing Tobio’s legs off his thighs. “I guess your silence says it all.”

“Tooru, wait-” Tobio started but stopped when he saw the look of sadness and anger in Oikawa’s glare.

“I really enjoyed being your boyfriend, Tobio, even though it was short lived. I somehow knew this day would come, but I wish it didn’t happen so soon. I’ll be gone by morning. I really did love you.” Oikawa shrugged a shoulder and left the room to gather up his belongings. Tobio just sat there on the sofa, thinking about how  _ stupid  _ he was to have let this happen, but deep down, so far down he was actually kind of glad that this outcome came to be.

 

* * *

 

Tobio didn’t contact anyone at all after Oikawa left. He felt abandoned, almost, yet he knew he was completely at fault. Days turned into weeks into months and Tobio went about his days finishing up college and focusing himself on volleyball. Or tried to. Whenever he even touched a ball, thoughts of Oikawa and Shouyou flittered around his mind and he couldn’t handle it. His coach benched him enough times for him to call it quits for a few days and try to regroup at home.

Then he started focusing on his art, and that somewhat calmed him down more than volleyball had. He drew on his off days, during break at his work, during time-outs when a practice match was being held. He drew and drew until he realized  _ who  _ in fact he was drawing and gave up on that too.

It was always Shouyou.

 

* * *

 

A good five years pass by like a breeze. Tobio hardly realized that since he gave up on trying to pursue Shouyou in favor of going to the Olympics. It was tough, but he managed and he made it through all the difficulties and bumps in the road. He learned that Oikawa stopped playing volleyball a few years back and he kind of got the feeling that he was at fault but never let it solely overtake his mind.

Tobio was at a practice match against another top ranking team in Japan when he saw a couple walk in through the door and into the bleachers. He had no time to spare to think about it as he served the ball, the second set beginning when his hand touched the ball. The game flew by in an instant, in which Tobio was glad for since his team won. He wiped his face off with a towel and scanned the crowd that was just starting to get up and leave, and he spotted a familiar face, just like all those years ago.

_ Shouyou. _

He swallowed thickly, nervousness sitting in the pit of his stomach like weight. He followed after his team towards the locker rooms and got dressed amazingly fast, bidding his teammates and coach a farewell before exiting the room. He hesitantly made his way over to the gym doors, his eyes locking with the familiar orange hair and he sucked in a deep breath, clenching and unclenching his hands, feeling them begin to sweat.

“Shouyou?” Tobio asked, although it was more like a whisper if any. Shouyou spun around, a smile on his face, and he bounded over to Tobio and threw his arms around him tightly, hugging him.

“Tobio!” Shouyou cried, looking up at Tobio from where he stood. “Please don’t be angry with me!! I have a really good excuse as to why I never called you or texted you. Please, please,  _ please,  _ hear me out!” 

“Okay, okay. Calm down, Shouyou.” Tobio let out a chuckle, pulling him over to an empty bench. They sat down next to each other and Shouyou stayed silent for a couple of seconds before calling out someone's name and a little girl came running up to them from behind them.

“Tobio, this is Natsu, my little sister. She was the one I was telling you about back then, about my parents and the divorce and such.” Something clicked in his head and Tobio nodded, waving back at Natsu, who waved happily at him. “About two, maybe three years ago, my parents decided to finally go through with it and they divorced. It was hell. I was still in college, just finishing up my last semester actually, when I get a call explaining everything that went down and how Natsu needed a guardian to take care of her. I didn’t understand why at first, but then with the mental and physical state of both my mom and dad, I knew they couldn’t be the sole guardians of her anymore. Even they said they didn’t want no part in taking care of her, to which I was absolutely shocked and ready to tell them off. I was livid.

I couldn’t just leave Natsu. She was my only sibling! So I took her into custody and that took  _ forever  _ to dish out, I swear. It was horrible. So much paperwork, so much stress, to the point where I gave up playing volleyball just to get my sister into my care. And I keep telling myself it was worth it, all the time, because it was. If I didn’t go through with this, I’d have no idea where she would be right now, who she would be with, if she was safe.” By the time Shouyou ended his rant, tears were flowing freely down his cheeks but that bright smile was still plastered on his face like no tomorrow. Despite everything that had happened to him, Shouyou was still smiling. Tobio wished he could be like that.

“So where does that leave you now?” Tobio asked, watching Natsu climb onto his lap and start to mess with his hair, complaining about his sweaty hair but laughing nonetheless.

“About to be homeless. I’ve tried finding a job in so many places and only ever held on for, what, maybe a couple of months? I’m such a fai-” A finger pressed against Shouyou’s lips and he flicked his eyes up to meet Tobio’s, who was wearing a small frown.

“Don’t say that. You can come live with me. I, uh, also wanted to apologize for what happened, back then.” 

“What, when we kissed? I actually forgot about that,” Shouyou shook his head. “It doesn’t matter now. You’re still with Oikawa-san, right?”

“No, actually. Um, we split up after the kiss happened.” Shouyou’s lips formed an ‘o’ in realization and he scooted back away from Tobio. 

“I-I am so sorry to have caused that, I really didn’t mean to.”

“Relax, Shouyou, it’s fine now.” Tobio cracked a tiny grin, holding onto Natsu tight so she wouldn’t tumble off his lap. “Have you got everything packed?”

“Nope. I wasn’t even expecting you to offer us to live with you.” Shouyou mumbled, twiddling his thumbs, He stood up and tugged on Tobio’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “But, thank you, really. I appreciate it so much.” Tobio squeezed his hand tight and led the way out the door into the coldness, holding Natsu close to him who hugged him around his neck.

“It’s okay, don’t thank me. I’m just happy to be finally with you again.”  
  
“Likewise.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter! So very sorry about the extremely late update

It happened out of the blue, really. That’s what it felt like. Practicing with his teammates in the late night for an upcoming match the next day, and it all came crashing down on him like everything else did in his life.

Tobio dislocates his right knee.

“Landed wrong”, he cursed at himself as two team mates helped him hobble over to the bench. But he knew it was much more than a simple misplacement of his feet. His whole knee throbbed and Tobio grit his teeth in anger; anger at his knee, anger at everyone surrounding him who wouldn’t just  _ give him room to breath,  _ and mostly angry at himself. He could’ve prevented this. Could have watched where he landed and the angle he was in and… He was disappointed. Tobio knew what this meant, and he didn't want to face the gruesome facts.

He wasn’t to play until his knee fully healed.

He didn’t dare call Shouyou and tell him; he knew how Shouyou got when anyone got hurt and especially if it was Tobio. He was driven to the hospital out of pity and texted Shouyou the whole way. He told him about staying overnight at his friends house so they can practice more for the match tomorrow. Shouyou didn’t even question it, like he knew this was going to happen, and agreed happily, sending him emojis of kisses and smileys. 

The doctor tells him to not stand on the knee as much as he can, to prop it up when he gets home and to ice it every day. Tobio was handed crutches and he so wanted to decline them, knowing Shouyou would eventually find them and ask about them, but the doctor insisted.

“It’s better for you to use instead of a brace,” she said. “You won’t have to use your leg as much. You need to let your knee heal properly and if you use the brace from the start, it won’t.”

So Tobio grumbled under his breath and slowly, slowly, made his way out to the front where one of his friends was waiting there, ready to drive him home.

“You fucked up your knee pretty badly, huh?” Kuroo chuckled, smacking Tobio’s shoulder as he opened the door to let him in. Tobio shot him a look and chucked his crutches into the back, buckled in, and crossed his arms over his chest.

“I hate this.”

“It happens, you should know this. You went out with Oikawa for how many months?” Kuroo scoffed, getting in the driver's seat and started the car. “He fucked both his knees up first semester of college, and kept getting yelled at each time he showed up to practice. He never let them heal properly, and now look where he is. Always holed up in his apartment, not answering my texts or hanging out with me. His friend, Iwaizumi, has to check up on him every day to see if he's still breathing.”

Kuroo took a breath, and Tobio looked over at him through his peripheral, knowing he wasn’t done talking just yet. But with each word that Kuroo spoke, they sunk into Tobio’s ears and flooded his entire body, registering it as the truth. Because Kuroo was right, he was always right.

“You know me, Kageyama, you know how I get when my friends vanish off the face of the earth, not letting me know if they’re alright or need help. And I’ll be damned if that happens with you, you understand?” Tobio nodded. This felt like something his mother would say to him, and it made Tobio swallow back the frog that suddenly appeared in his throat. “So I will help you with this, with helping get your knee back in shape in time for the tournament, and for Hinata to not notice.”

“He might notice before. He has a keen set of eyes.” Tobio sighed.

“Well, if he notices, then so be it. But don’t leave him in the dark for so long, okay? You and him have a kid to raise, and if mistrust comes between either of you, then it won’t do the kid any good.” Kuroo glanced over at him, pulling up to Tobio’s driveway. He helped Tobio out on his feet and up to the door, letting Tobio open the door and stumble his way inside.

“When is Hinata getting home?” Kuroo asked, looking around the apartment.

“Probably later, he has to pick up Natsu from school around five.” Tobio laid down on the couch, dropping his crutches beside him on the floor. He could feel the day's energy rushing away from him, leaving him with a sense of dread and tiredness. He heard Kuroo move something from the left of him, then he felt his leg being lifted and something ice cold pressing against his knee and he hissed. Kuroo mumbled an apology and placed a blanket over Tobio, who didn’t even know that he had closed his eyes, and ruffled his hair before taking his leave.

 

* * *

 

Tobio tried his best to keep off his knee, he really tried. But when Shouyou wanted him to do everything at once and how he was supposed to keep this from Shouyou and trying to keep Natsu from making a mess in the kitchen; it was too much. His knee was straining with each movement he took and he knew. He  _ knew  _ Shouyou knew, but wasn’t saying anything about it.

That alone was hurting him the most.

A few weeks go by, and Tobio could feel his knee getting better. He willed himself to start using his crutches to go to practice, his coach telling him he couldn’t obviously play but can still watch. He used his crutches to go shopping at the grocery store whenever Shouyou was out so he wouldn’t notice. He used his crutches to even walk around his apartment at times, because stumbling and tripping into walls over and over just wasn’t doing it for him anymore.

Tobio started using the brace he bought about a month after the accident. It helped a lot. He could wear it pretty much always without anyone knowing; wearing it under his pants was great when he agreed to take midnight walks with Shouyou a couple nights before. It still hurt to put pressure on his knee, or stand on it for numerous times a day, but he grinned and beared it. 

Shouyou found the crutches three months after Tobios accident and Tobio almost spilled entirely on what happened but caught himself just in time.  _ “It’s for a friend, he asked me to hold on to them for him.”  _ It was a blatant lie, anyone could see it, but if Shouyou realized that it was indeed a lie, or he was just as dense as he’s always been and hadn’t, then he never said anything about it. As usual. 

 

* * *

 

His knee was fully healed half a year later and Tobio couldn't be more than happy to be back on the court with his teammates. He was absolutely thrilled during practice and hitting serves left and right, setting balls to the spikers over and over again. Shouyou was there this time with Natsu, watching him practice. He usually visited whenever he had Natsu had time off, which was always on the weekend or sometimes a weekday, depends. Natsu was calling out Tobio’s name and shouting at him happily, clapping his hands as they watched Tobio’s team play against another team from Tokyo. 

Tobio concentrated on the ball, watching it fly over the net and have it received with little difficulty, the ball flying back over to him. He jumped, lifted his hands to set the ball, landed, and he heard Shouyou’s choked gasp before he even felt the impact. 

Ah, it seemed to have happened again.

A strangled cry was heard echoing the gym, and Tobio only realized after that it was his  _ own voice.  _ How could he have been so stupid enough to have landed the wrong way  _ again?  _ He collapsed on the gym floor in nothing but pain. He knew from the doctor the first time he visited that if this happened again, if he tore the ligaments again, then he wouldn’t be able to play volleyball. Muffled shouts was heard but Tobio didn’t, couldn’t, pay attention to them. Not with the searing hot flashes of pain flaring up throughout his entire body from trying to move his leg.

“-bio!” Tobio looked up, away from his knee. He saw Shouyou running towards him and dropped to his knees, hands flailing around as if not knowing what to do or where to put them. “T-Tobio, are you alright?! Oh my god, oh my god,” he cried, wincing at the sight of Tobio’s knee. 

“It hurts.” Tobio said dumbly, shrugging a shoulder. He tried sitting up, with Shouyou’s help, and ended up moving his leg in the process and he grit his teeth in pain. “Fuck, it hurts,” he said again, this time digging his fingernails into his gym shorts.

His coach made everyone move aside to assess the situation. He knew of what happened last time, of course, so when he gave Tobio a look, Tobio knew exactly what he meant by that and he grew slack against Shouyou. Shouyou began talking with the coach, about taking him to the hospital to get him treated, and the coach agreed and helped Tobio stand as best he could. Shouyou and another teammate helped Tobio out to Shouyou’s car and into the back seat to stretch out his leg. Shouyou leaned inside with a worried look and put a hand on Tobio’s leg softly. 

“How are you feeling? You messed it up pretty badly, from what the coach said. But I mean, you can  _ see  _ how badly it-”

“Shouyou.”

“O-Oh, sorry!”

“I’m feeling alright. I can hardly feel the pain anymore.”

“That’s good. Tell me if it starts to hurt again. I’ll drive slow over bumps.” Shouyou gave him a weak smile and shut the door, walking around the car to the driver's seat, Natsu hopping into the passenger seat. The ride to the hospital was uneventful, save for Tobio whacking his head on the window when Shouyou rolled to a stop at the light. He hobbled inside the emergency room and sat down in one of the chairs, dropping his head back and allowing his eyes to slip shut. Shouyou sat beside him after coming back from the front desk, saying that the doctor would be with them in a moment.

Natsu wandered in after locking up the car and sat beside them, looking worried. “Will you be okay, Tobio?” She asked, holding his hand in hers.

“Mm,” Was all he said in response, squeezing Natsu’s hand tight. The doctor finally emerged from behind the double doors and ushered them into a room. He sat down on the chair and faced Tobio, clipboard in hand and started asking about what happened. Tobio relented and told him what exactly went on, leaving out the fact that he had dislocated the same knee prior to this, about half a year earlier.

The doctor examined his knee, asking if it hurt when he touched his knee there, here, and Tobio nodded stiffly each time. The doctor wrote some things down on his clipboard and met Tobio’s eyes.

“You will need to have an x-ray to conclude that you didn’t break a bone or have any cartilage damage.” He said, helping Tobio onto a wheelchair he had brought with him from the waiting room. Shouyou and Natsu followed after them like lost puppies, all worried and scared that this might affect Tobio’s career. Tobio already knew his career was over with, with a pained gut feeling.

  
  
  
  


“The damage to your knee is pretty severe,” the doctor says, looking over the x-rays on the monitor. “It seems to have stemmed from an injury to the same knee beforehand, along with you landing wrong on it.”

Shouyou’s head whipped around to face Tobio and Tobio couldn’t even meet his eyes. He knew why Shouyou was looking at him, what the expression he was wearing meant. He just didn’t want to face the facts that his-

“-volleyball career is over. You can’t continue to play with an injury such as this. Even having it healed properly, you still wouldn’t be able to. You will always be in danger of having a dislocation happen again, your knee is very weak and unstable. If you don’t want to risk having knee surgery, or harming it even more, I’d suggest to not play any strenuous sports anymore. It’ll only be beneficial.”

Tobio stared at the linoleum floor at a spot where the lights from above shined on the surface. He hardly realized Shouyou started pushing him back out to the waiting room and out into the cold air. He swallowed thickly and his vision swam, dropping his head forward in defeat. Shouyou must have heard him, since he told Natsu to wait in the car and kneeled down in front of him. He cupped Tobio’s face and lifted it to meet his gaze, and a soft pair of lips met his own for a brief second before pulling away.

“Tobio,” Shouyou whispered, leaning his forehead against his. “I’m so, so very sorry this happened.” Tobio didn’t have to hear him say it for him to know that he was truly sorry, just from how his voice sounded hoarse from holding back tears.

“I kind of figured this would happen sooner than later.”

“...Something similar happened before, didn’t it?” Shouyou lifted his head and creased his brow. He ran his thumbs under Tobio’s eyes and up to his brow, smoothing out the wrinkles.

“Yeah, and I feel like an asshole for not telling you.” He sighed, leaning into Shouyou’s touch.

“Dislocation?”

“Mm.”

“Same knee?”

“Yeah.”

A heavy sigh sounded from Shouyou’s lips and he shook his head, a pained sob forcing itself from his throat. “I should have known from the start, with the way you seemed to be hiding stuff from me. I could have helped prevent something like this from happening again-” Tobio grabbed Shouyou’s hand tight in his own and shook his head fast.

“No, no, you couldn’t have. No one could have prevented this, Shouyou, it was inevitable. It has always  _ been  _ inevitable. Once you break something or dislocate something, you always have a chance of doing it again. Even if you haven’t, you still have a chance. It’s not your fault, and it’s okay, trust me, I’ll get through this. I will.”

It was never okay.

 

* * *

  
  


Several months pass, and Tobio was still not faring any better than he had from the start. Everytime he saw a volleyball, or heard someone mention volleyball, it was tore at his heart and clawed at it viciously. He knew he couldn’t play, knew for a fact, and this damn knee brace was proof of it. It was always a casual reminder that  _ “Hey, you suck, can’t play volleyball anymore. What a loser.” _

Even Shouyou knew, felt it too. He sat beside him one night at the dinner table after everything was put away and Natsu went off to bed. He took Tobio’s hand in his and ran his thumb over the knuckles, bringing it up to kiss the back of his hand. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired, anxious, bored. What should I be feeling right now?” Tobio grunted, tapping his pencil on the table, books and papers spread out before him. He was studying, now that volleyball was out of the question. It sucked, but he had to in order to get through his second degree. He groaned and dropped his pencil, lifting his hand to card his fingers through his hair. Shouyou frowned sadly.

“Is there anything I can do to help?” He asked, hoping there was something, anything, he could do.

“Not really.”

Shouyou hummed under his breath. “I know you haven’t… In awhile, but have you thought about pursuing your art as a replacement option?”

“I never wanted art. I only ever wanted to play volleyball, you know this.”

“Yes, okay, I know, but you can’t keep dwelling on this. It sucks, it’s a terrible outcome. Yes, I know. You only remind me of this every single day,” Shouyou rolled his eyes. “Just think about your art, and how it can take your mind off of this. Draw anything pertaining to volleyball, to your hearts content.”

“I don’t know.”

“Tobio,” Hinata gripped his hand. “Please. If not for you, for me.” Tobio slid his gaze from the papers and over to Shouyou, a pained expression flashing across his face.

“Alright, I’ll try.”

 

* * *

 

Drawing was one of those things where you can get your mind off of something but still have that certain topic on your mind at the same time. It was ruthless. 

Tobio had been drawing non stop, forgetting easily about his homework that he had to finish. He had no care in the world. If he couldn’t play volleyball anymore, he was still able to draw anything pertaining to volleyball. Pictures of random individuals, all blurred, spiking and setting balls. Shouyou spiking a ball in the uniform, Tobio remembered, from when he was back in high school. Oikawa and himself lounging around, tossing a volleyball back and forth. He, Kuroo and Terushima. He drew and drew and drew until his hand gave up one night and Tobio wasn’t able to draw again until afternoon the next day.

He was happy, to say the least. Despite what happened. 

Shouyou came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Tobio’s shoulders one day and kissed his neck, nuzzling his nose into Tobio’s hairline. “I’m so proud of you,” He whispered, sincerity leaking through his voice. Tobio smiled, a genuine smile, and leaned back into him, turning his head to the side to kiss Shouyou’s temple.

  
He all but forgot about his knee, simple as that, and how the dislocation severely fucked over his chances of becoming a pro again. He still had his art, and he was forever grateful that Shouyou was the one to help bring it back in his life when he had forgotten that it was his second chance at a life he never thought of having.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I had put 9 chapters, but it ended up being 6 chapters after all. Welp, this is the end, thanks for sticking around as much as you did! I appreciate every single kudos and comment that is given, I wouldn't be here without your support. I hope you enjoyed this fic as much as I did writing it. 
> 
> Untill next time!! <3


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